When your spouse brought up the idea of divorce, you were stunned. Why did it happen? What did you do wrong? Could you have seen it coming?
Many experts note that people often see potential warning signs that a marriage isn't going to work even before they have officially tied the knot. They go ahead and get married anyway. Often, these relationships fail simply because they started for the wrong reasons.
For instance, one common reason is that they already got engaged and spent a lot of money setting up and planning the wedding. Are they going to back out and lose deposits or money spent on invitations?
Some have taken other steps to create the perfect life together, and they don't want to give up that dream. For instance, they may have bought or built a dream home. Not getting married means at least one of them loses it, and probably both if they can't afford it alone. They know the person isn't right, but they still want that life.
Still others have said they got married because everyone else thought they were a great fit and would never have any problems. They were worried all along, but they chalked it up to nerves, ignored their feelings and went through with it based on the expectations of friends and family members.
Tracing things back to find the root of the problem may not make divorce easier, but it can help you sort through the situation and understand why and how it happened. As you do this, be sure you also take the time to fully looking into your legal rights and what steps you should take to secure the best possible future.
Source: Huffington Post, "The 10 Most Common Reasons People Get Divorced," Lisa L. Payne, Kim Olver & Deborah Roth, accessed Dec. 20, 2017