Divorce is a difficult time for couples, children and their families. Depending on the age and specific circumstances of the divorce, children can take the divorce harder than anyone else. Thinking about how to manage parenting during and after the divorce is important in maintaining a stable, consistent environment for children.
Kids thrive on routines and consistency, which is why many parents choose co-parenting, a form of shared parenting where both adults continue to parent their children together.
Children do best when they spend dedicated time with each parent, and while this arrangement may not be ideal in every circumstance, such as situations where domestic abuse is present; in most cases, it is the best way to move forward with children after divorce.
Effectiveness of co-parenting
Co-parenting is effective and possible even in high-conflict divorces. For many parents, it is worth trying so they can at least see whether it works for them, and determine how to move forward.
What co-parenting is not:
- Divorced parents sharing the same home with the children
- Divorced parents have to spend extended periods of time with each other
- Parenting without personal boundaries
Co-parenting aims to give the children an opportunity to see and be with their parents more often and for their parents to be a part of their upbringing.
While no situation is perfect, this arrangement often works well for children because they feel their parents’ presence in their lives, and that gives them a strong sense of safety and security.
What co-parenting is:
- One way to manage parenting after divorce
- An effective way to parent after divorce
- A way for parents to mitigate some of the damage that divorce inevitably causes children
- A way for parents to remain involved in their children’s lives as much as possible
There are many ways to handle parenting after a divorce, and co-parenting is a general term for shared parenting, or both parents coming together to do their best work as parents, considering the best interests of their children.
While it is not possible to shield children from the pain of divorce, it is possible for children to feel safe and secure again after divorce. Co-parenting facilitates that and allows for the parents to create a new family dynamic that puts the children first.