The days when children have to move from one parent’s home to the other parent’s home can be stressful for the kids. They’ll likely feel a range of emotions, including sadness of having to spend time away from one parent and excitement of getting to spend time with the other.
It’s up to the parents to try to make these transition days as stress-free as possible. There are several ways parents might be able to do this.
1. Establish a clear routine
Children feel more secure when they know what to expect. Consistent pick-up and drop-off times, bedtime schedules and daily routines can reduce anxiety. Younger children may need reminders about when the transfer days will occur. Older children may be able to keep track of this on their own.
2. Allow time for adjustment
Some children need time to settle in when they have to switch homes. Instead of planning intense activities that day, consider finding options that allow them to decompress and relax. It’s important to ensure that they aren’t given a pass to break rules because it may be difficult for them if the rules must suddenly be followed.
3. Encourage emotional expression
Children should be encouraged to express their feelings. Allow them to do this in a non-judgmental way. It may help if you talk through your own feelings with them, but only the ones that are age-appropriate and that don’t disparage their other parent.
4. Keep conflict away from the child
If co-parenting, avoiding arguments during drop-offs and maintaining a positive tone can make transitions easier. A cooperative approach reassures children that both parents support their well-being. Having the terms of the parenting plan written out clearly may benefit both parents since this may reduce the risk of conflict.