Handing over the children to a co-parent can often be a moment of considerable tension in a parent’s week. This is especially true if these parents are only recently divorced.
Allowing things to continue being uncomfortable won’t benefit you or your children. The following tips can help you eliminate much of the stress of the situation.
A time and place that everyone can reliably make
Don’t schedule the pick-ups for 5 PM on a Friday if your child’s sports practice often runs over its time and you have to be at work straight afterward. Don’t go for 2 PM at the shopping mall on a Saturday if the traffic to get there is notoriously unpredictable, making it hard to tell whether your journey will be 10 minutes or thirty. The easier it is for everyone to get there on time, and the less consequential any delays, the better.
Limit your conversation
Sometimes, a quick greeting and goodbye is a better option than a longer interchange with your co-parent. If you can talk easily, then feel free, but if the conversations between you often end in an argument or sly remarks, best to avoid having them in front of the children and find another time to discuss issues or differences.
Have someone else do it
If your coparent is particularly difficult with you, consider staying out of the handover altogether. Maybe one of your parents or a sibling will be happy to do the exchange in your place. Another option is to take company with you to the drop-off, to minimize the chance your coparent acts out. If you do not have this option, carefully choosing a place with lots of other people, such as a local cafe, can make a difficult coparent think carefully about how they behave.
This is just one of many things to think about when creating a custody and parenting time plan. Legal guidance can help you make one that works well for your situation.